Getting back into dating world

Dating from a place of anger doesn’t usually lead to good choices.

Don’t skip the counseling sessions — they will help tremendously down the road. We do what is comfortable instead of what is right.

I coach all of my clients through a “marriage map” exercise to create a road map of a partner that will make them happy, which is necessary to start picking the right people. Many women stare blankly at me when I ask this question, because they’ve been so busy taking care of everyone else around them that they’ve totally lost sight of what makes them happy.

Make a list of five to 10 things that bring you joy, and start to do them again.

Once you have a road map of a partner that makes you happy, give attraction and chemistry a chance to develop, even if it takes five or more dates to figure it out.

After you feel the chemistry, look carefully for the “interior” traits that count, like kindness, reliability, consistency, honesty and intelligence first. Is this person willing to accept you, your complexities, maybe your children? Are you on the same page with regards to finances, parenting, living situations, marriage or more kids?

Texting is OK as a “heads-up” method of communication, like, “I’m running five minutes late.” But it shouldn’t take the place of all communication, and texting too much can lead to premature intimacy.

If you feel that someone texts you too much, suggest that you chat by phone instead!

Do you understand what went wrong in your relationship?Here are 15 essential tips to follow: Psychotic optimism is my philosophy on love, which I’m spreading to everyone who will listen.It means this: “Love will come to me — it’s a WHEN, not an IF.Within two months, you’ve had “the discussion” and have defined an exclusive relationship! There will be ups and downs, weeks where you have many dates, and weeks where you have none. Are you thinking about getting back into the dating scene?

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Dating after divorce isn’t easy, and will require a great group of people surrounding you to keep you motivated and inspired!

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